These Scars
by StevexBuckyx
Summary: Bucky is self conscious about his arm. Stevebucky stucky M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

It was a cold evening at the Avengers tower. Everyone was on their respective floors cuddling up with their loved ones for warmth.

Steve and Bucky were sitting on a couch on their floor, very much like they used to before the war. Steve was sitting reading a book, while Bucky was laying in his back resting his head on his lovers thighs.

"Hey Stevie."  
"Mmm."  
"What do you think life would've been like if the war never happened?"  
"It would've been nice, but we wouldn't of been able to show affection in public."  
The brunette looked up at the blonde who was still enticed in his book and grinned, "you would still be a small asthmatic."  
"That is true, but you would still be beating up dudes in alleys for me."  
"I don't think that's something to brag about babe."  
"Oh shut up."

Bucky let out a small chuckle as he sat up. He moved closer to the blonde then straddled his lap. He took the book out of Steve's hand and placed it on the couch next to them. The captain moved his hands and put them on his lovers hips while looking up at him. The winter soldier cupped his face and leant down to kiss him. Steve's lips were so soft it almost surprised him each time. He moved his hands from Bucky's waist to his back trying to pull him closer. Bucky pulled away from him and smiled. The captain admired the view. A disheveled Bucky sitting on him while giving the softest smile was one of the most amazing things he'd ever seen. Steve went to grab the soldiers hand forgetting one was metal. Bucky flinched and instantly pulled his left hand away from him.

"I'm sorry, I forgot."  
"It's ok," Bucky spoke in an almost mechanic voice, "I just got nervous that's all."  
"It's fine, just come down here and kiss me."

Bucky was more then happy to oblige and leant down. This time he only kissed him softly. The soldier sloppily pulled his lips away and went for Steve's neck. Soft suckling on his neck from the brunette drove Steve absolutely crazy every single time without fail. The captain moved his hand up behind Bucky's head while the other stayed on his back. The brunette started to lift Steve's shirt when he was stooped.

"Wait Buck, I want to see you."  
Bucky went wide eyed, "but my arm it-"  
"Shhh," Steve smiled as he lifted Bucky's shirt over his head.

Where the metal was fused into the skin was so damaged. Red scars as if the arm had been rushed into his body. Claw marks if what stood out to him the most. Fresh claw marks. Almost as if he had been trying to claw off his arm about 5 minutes ago.

"Buck-"  
"Just say it Steve, it's hideous."  
Steve placed a hand onto the scarred tissue, "it looks like it hurts."  
"It's fine, really."  
"Those claw marks are fresh. Have you been trying to get your arm off?"

That's when Bucky couldn't hold it in anymore. He leant down onto Steve's shoulder. Tears creaked out the corner of his eyes drenching his lovers shirt. Steve wished he never commented on it. He hugged the soldier making sure to avoid the damaged skin in case it caused him any discomfort.

"It's ok, breathe babe, breathe."  
"I don't want it anymore! It reminds me of what I've done."  
"If you want, Tony can make you a new one."  
"I-I'd like that," he spoke in almost a whisper.

Steve moved his hand and started running his fingers softly up and down his metal arm.

"You know I can't feel that right?" Bucky spoke moving he's head back up.  
"I can tell you're lying."  
"It's just...it's easier then explaining what it's actually like."

Steve tilted his head up and softly kissed Bucky's lips. They always slotted together so perfectly.

"What does it feel like babe?"  
Bucky looked down at the captain lovingly. He took his flesh hand and ran it through the blondes hair, "I can feel things with it yeah, but not everything. I can feel pain and you softly running your fingers up it, but not someone like grabbing it. It's weird and hard to explain."  
Steve stopped running his fingers up his arm. He moved his hand to the scarred tissue, "does it hurt?"  
"What hurt?"  
"Where it joins into your chest."  
"Kinda, stop looking at it Steve, it's hideous."  
"Buck, you're beautiful," Steve responded as he ran his hand down Bucky's chest. When his hand made it to the bottom of his stomach, he looked up into the soldiers eyes and god were they stunning. Steve could feel himself getting lost just looking into them.  
"Stevie."  
"Yeah?"  
"We're being watched," he said as he climbed off of the captains lap. Bucky quickly pulled his shit back over his head.  
"What do you mean?"  
"There's someone in the window behind you."

Hey guys! I'm probably gonna make this a two or three part story. Enjoy :) 


	2. Chapter 2

"Bucky what do you mean?" Steve asked jumping up from the couch, "we're on the fifth floor?"  
"I saw someone," he said shakily while holding his metal arm, "a head, it was watching."

Steve walked over to the window to see a teenager sprinting away.

"How did he even get up there?"  
"I don't know, but he was watching."

Bucky was pacing around the room almost in tears. Steve knew he was self conscious, but he didn't think it was this bad.

"They saw it! They saw my arm I-"

Steve cut off his panicking by pulling him close to his chest. He instantly felt his lovers heart rate start slowing down.

"You're the first person who's seen it, except the hy...hyd..."  
"Its ok, deep breaths babe."  
"I'm sorry."  
"You don't have to be sorry for anything. I don't understand what you're going through, but I can't imagine it's easy."

-00-

Next morning Steve awoke to an empty bed.

"Buck?" He called.

He wasn't on their floor.

"Bucky?" He called louder.

He ran to the elevator just as the doors opened. Steve sighed in relief to see Bucky standing there smiling.

"Jesus Buck, you scared me."  
"I went to see Tony. He measured my arm and everything."  
"That's so good, did he tell you how long it'll take?"  
"I'm not sure he said he'd call me when it's done."

Steve pulled Bucky out of the elevator and into a close embrace.

"I'm so happy for you babe, you deserve it."  
"I love you."  
"I love you too."

Bucky stepped away from Steve.

"He said there wasn't much he could do about the scarring and it's best to go to Dr Cho for that, she'll be here in a couple weeks."

-000-

Later night there was a knock on the towers door. Bucky went to answer it.

"Hey- s...sTEVE, GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW."

Steve came running down the stairs to see Bucky facing a 16 year old kid.

"Who is it?  
"The kid who was creeping on us."  
"I-I'm Peter, I'm being mentored by Mr Stark-"

Peters sentence was cut off by Tony thumping down the stairs.

"Hey kid," Tony smiled, "Steve, Bucky, what are you guys doing to him?"  
"He was watching us through the window yesterday," Bucky answered.  
"Is that true Pete?"  
"Well uh- I was just climbing the building last night as practice like you said and I didn't want to crawl past and disturb them, sorry Mr Bucky."  
"How long were you watching?" Bucky asked shakily, gripping his arm.  
"A w-while, I could hear you guys too. Your metal arm is really cool."  
"Please leave me alone," he begged as he walked off.  
"Buck!" Steve called, "I'm really sorry Peter, he's just a bit self conscious. Buck!"

Steve ran after Bucky, finding him in their room. "  
"Buck-"  
"He saw it! Steve, he saw it! It's hideous, I'm hideous!"

The captain sat next to him.

"You're not hideous. You're beautiful. You've always been beautiful."  
"But they ruined me! Broke me! Made me into a monster, look at me Steve! Look at me!" Bucky yelled, his voice suddenly went softer, "you deserve someone better than me."  
"No."  
"No?"  
"None of that is true, you're not ruined or broken. You're not a monster. There's no one I would rather be with than you," Steve pulled him into a hug, "I love you."  
"I-i love you too."

-00-

Hey guys, sorry it took so long to get a chapter out. School has been really busy, thanks for waiting xx


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